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Mixing Consoles


S2-10 Mixer
         
S2-10 front
S2-10 Top
 
S2-10 Rear
S2-10 Side

Front View

Top View

 

Rear View

Side View

High resolution front >>
High resolution top >>
High resolution rear >>
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S2 - Digital I/O Analogue Radio Broadcast Mixer with 10 channels


S2 Contents

How To Order (Takes you to another page)
S2 - Digital I/O Analogue Radio Broadcast Mixer (This is an introduction to the S2 Mixer)
S2 Input Channels - Intro (A brief introduction to input channel usage)
S2 Input Channels - List (A list of links to the input channel products)
Faders And Blank Channels (A list of links to the faders and blank channels)
S2 Output Channels - Intro (A brief introduction to output channel usage)
Output Channels - List (A list of links to the output channel products)
S2 Meterbridge Modules - Intro (A brief introduction to meterbridge module usage)
Meterbridge Modules - List (A list of links to the meterbridge module products)
S2 Chassis Design (A brief introduction with a list of links to the chassis products)
S2 Power Supply (A list of links to the power supply products)
S2 Script Space (A list of links to the script space products)
S2 Cable (A link to the S2 cable)
S2 Mixer Placement In Furniture - Weights And Boxed Dimensions
S2 Mixer Placement In Cut-Out
S2 Technical Specification

Related Links:
S2 Handbook >
S2 Catalogue >
S2 Mixer Order Form >

Specimen of S2 Mixer Order Form >
FAQs >

What The Press Said:
Resolution, November-December 2008 >
Resolution, September 2009 >
On Air, Winter 2010 >
Radio World, April 2010 >
Radioworld, May 2010 >
Radio, July 2010 >
On Air, July/August 2010 >
Radio Magazine, February/March 2013 >

S2 - Digital I/O Analogue Radio Broadcast Mixer

S2 logoS2 is a modular broadcast mixer which offers digital audio quality
with analogue reliability in a modular format. S2 has both digital and analogue input channels, together with simultaneous analogue and digital outputs.

Following on from the Sovereign range of audio mixers, S2 combines all the features needed of a radio broadcast mixer in a stylish, flush-mounting chassis : a wide range of input and output channels, PFL/cue, fader-start operation of equipment, automatic monitor muting on mic-live, light controlling remote outputs, optional EQ on input modules, gram amp input options and 2 main audio buses, allowing you to broadcast on the PRG bus while recording on the AUD bus, with bus output selection on each module.

Innovative Design

  • The S2 chassis is available in 5 module width sections, allowing 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 and 30 module width mixers. This means S2 can be used for small newsrooms or large on-air situations.
  • Modular “pop-up” input and output channels means that the mixer can be maintained simply and quickly. Hot-swappable input channels can be individually removed and repaired whilst still on-air.
  • The angle of the meterbridge can be varied and set for best viewing position.
  • Any module can be in any position so that customising the mixer for your own purposes is easy.
  • Large back-lit buttons allow you to see the status of the mixer at all times.
  • The fitted rear panel hides all cable connections but can be simply unclipped and reclipped for maintenance.
  • The modular design of the desk gives you the flexibility to expand it at a later date. You can even add another S2 mixer and link them together with a bus connector cable to allow for split desk configurations.
S2 with script space, image.
Back to S2 Contents >

Superb Audio Quality and Unquestionable Reliability

  • The S2 uses the latest Crystal semiconductor technology to allow input and output of digital audio signals up to 24 bit, 96kHz sample rate.
  • The analogue signal paths use low noise circuitry to provide superb audio performance well capable of satisfying radio listeners worldwide.
  • The high reliability and build quality of S2 minimises the chance of failure, avoiding lost air-time. Each module is individually checked twice before being assembled into the finished chassis and the whole unit is tested before shipping.
  • ALPS long throw 100mm faders give a smooth, repeatable response and the XLR Neutrik connectors used are an industry standard.
  • The use of VCAs controlled by the faders ensures tight stereo tracking and eliminates mechanical and electronic noise.
  • S2 has a separate 2U power supply providing regulated, ripple-free power to the mixer. There is also an optional switcher to control 2 power supplies providing redundancy.
  • High quality stainless steel is used for the chassis and screws to prevent corrosion in high humidity environments.
  • Each channel is metal coated internally to provide exceptional EMC screening.

S2 Input Channels - Intro

There is a wide choice of input channels for the S2 mixer. Each channel has a number of common features :

Assigning an Input Channel to an Output Bus - Switches at the top of the channel are used to select the output group routing, to either Program, Audition, or both output busses. Selecting the PGM and/or AUD buttons routes the channel audio to the PGM and/or AUD mix busses. The buttons illuminate green to indicate the routing status.

Changing the Input Level - Coarse gain is set using pre-set potentiometers on the channel circuit board which allow unbalanced inputs to be used on mono and stereo line inputs. The front panel TRIM control allows fine gain of ±12dB.

Changing the Signal Pan, or Balance - The BAL/PAN control is used on mono channels to pan the mono input signal in the stereo image and on stereo channels to balance the stereo image.

CUE/PFL (Pre Fade Listen) - Selecting the CUE/PFL button routes the pre-fader input signal to the monitoring system where the signal can be heard via headphones and/or loudspeakers. The button lights green when CUE/PFL is active and a jumper option is available to cancel the CUE/PFL selection when the fader is raised. This button works with both a momentary and latched operation - if held down, the selection is cancelled on release, otherwise the button is alternate action.

Fader Start & ON Button Control - The ON button works in conjunction with the 100mm long-throw carbon fader and is used to control channel remotes (e.g. starting a CD player), routing and timers, etc. When unlit, the channel is off. Flashing red indicates that the channel has been selected to ON but not routed to either PGM or AUD. Steady red indicates that the channel is ON and “armed”, ready for the fader to be raised. Raising the fader changes the illumination to green indicating that the channel is live. Alternatively, with the button unlit the fader may be raised and the channel can be operated simply by selecting ON. The illumination in this case toggles between unlit (channel OFF) and green (channel ON).

Programmable Button Settings
To make the S2 modules as flexible as possible, every button on each channel can be set to a number of different modes to aid the use of the mixer and allow for extra functionality. Each button can be set to either operate manually, be permanently on, or permanently disabled. Also, the ON button can be configured to operate in a number of modes, altering remote start functions, and the channel ON function can be controlled remotely by automation playout systems, such as RCS® or VCS.

Scribble Pad - A scribble pad is provided at the bottom of the channel for user labelling of the channel function.

Download S2 Laser Label Templates to create your own descriptive labels using Adobe Illustrator or other graphic packages.

Back to S2 Contents >

Input Channels - List

   
S2-CMM Mic/Mic Channel
more >>
S2-CMM image
S2-CML Mic/Line Channel
more >>
S2-CML image
S2-CS Dual Stereo Line Channel
more >>
S2-CS image
S2-CSE Dual Stereo Line Channel with EQ
more >>
S2-CSE image
S2-CSG Stereo Line & Gram Channel
more >>
S2-CSG image
S2-CSGE Stereo Line & Gram Channel with EQ
more >>
S2-CSGE image
S2-CDS Digital Dual Stereo Channel
more >>
S2-CDS image
S2-CDSE Digital Dual Stereo Line with EQ
more >>
S2-CDSE image
S2-C6SS 6 Way Stereo Source Select Channel with EQ
more >>
S2-C6SS image
S2-CSMM Stereo Mix Minus Channel
more >>
S2-CSMM image
S2-CT Telco Input Channel
more >>
RB-CT image
Back to S2 Contents >    

Faders And Blank Channels

S2-PG S2 Penny & Giles Conductive Plastic Fader
more >>
S2-PG image
S2-CB S2-Blank Channel
more >>
S2-CB image

S2 Output Channels - Intro

There are six different output channels available, for controlling monitoring in both a Control Room and separate Studio, with the two main output channels also having a master fader option.

The master output channels provide balanced analogue audio outputs as well as simultaneous AES/EBU or S/PDIF digital audio outputs for both PRG and AUD busses. The analogue mono output can be selected from PRG or AUD and meter selection is available to show either the PRG bus, AUD bus, or to follow the Control Room Monitor selection.

Both Control Room and Studio Monitor channels are available for controlling what’s routed to the presenter’s and guest’s headphones and monitor speakers. 2 external inputs can also be monitored.

A minimum of 3 channels need to be fitted into a mixer: channels S2-OMC, S2-ODP (or S2-ODPF) and S2-ODA (or S2-ODAF) must be fitted and S2-OMS is optional.

Back to S2 Contents >

Output Channels - List

   
S2-OMC Control Room Monitor Channel
more >>
S2-OMC image
S2-OMS Studio Monitor Channel
more >>
S2-OMS image
S2-ODP Digital PGM Output Channel
more >>
S2-ODP image
S2-ODPF Digital PGM Output Channel with Master Fader
more >>
S2-ODPF image
S2-ODA Digital AUD Output Channel
more >>
RB-ODA image
S2-ODAF Digital AUD Output Channel with Master Fader
more >>
S2-ODAF image
Back to S2 Contents >    

S2 Meterbridge Modules - Intro

In the meterbridge area you can choose from four styles of metering, a phase meter, a dual timer, a PFL/Talkback loudspeaker, 2 talkback modules, a 6 input source selector and a range of blanking plates. S2's meterbridge modules are freely assignable so that you can position them exactly where you want them.

S2’s meterbridge modules are freely assignable so that you can position them exactly where you want them.

The dual meter panels are used for monitoring console signal levels. Up to three different meter panels can be housed in the meterbridge. The meters can be configured internally to be fed from one of three signal sources, the selected source indicated by a LED:

  • Select - The output of the meter switch on the AUD output module which can show PGM, AUD, or CR MON, which is the selected monitor source on the control room monitor module, (EXT 1, EXT 2, PGM, or AUD)interrupted by PFL.
  • Program - PGM output which can optionally be interrupted by PFL.
  • PFL - The output of the PFL bus.
Back to S2 Contents >

Meterbridge Modules - List

   
S2-ML S2-Meterbridge Loudspeaker Monitor Panel
more >>
S2-ML image
S2-MT S2-Meterbridge Dual Timer Panel
more >>
S2-MT image
S2-MTBS S2-MTBS Meterbridge Station Master
Talkback Panel
more >>
S2-MTBS image
S2-MTB6 S2-Meterbridge 6 Way Talkback Panel
more >>
S2-MTB6 image
S2-M6SS S2-Meterbridge 6 Button Stereo Source Select
more >>
S2-M6SS image
S2-MPPM S2-Meterbridge PPM Meter Panel
more >>
S2-MPPM image
S2-MVU S2-Meterbridge VU Meter Panel
more >>
S2-MVU image
S2-ML53 S2-Meterbridge LED Meter Panel
more >>
S2-ML53 image
S2-MPH S2-Meterbridge Phase Meter Panel
more >>
S2-MPH image
S2-MSB1 S2-Meterbridge Switch Panel with 1 Button
more >>
S2-MSB1 image
S2-MSB3 S2-Meterbridge Switch Panel with 3 Buttons
more >>
S2-MSB3 image
S2-MB1 to S2MB5 S2 Meterbridge Blanking Plate
(1 Channel Width to 5 Channel Width)
more >>
S2-MB1 image
  S2 Rubber Keyswitch Buttons
more >>
Rubber Keyswitch Button
Back to S2 Contents >    

S2 Chassis Design

The S2 chassis is available in 5 channel width sections, allowing 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 and 30 channel width mixers. This means S2 can be used for small newsrooms or large on-air situations.

S2-05 S2-Chassis with 5 channel width sections
more >>
S2-05 image
S2-10 S2-Chassis with 10 channel width sections
more >>
S2-10 image
S2-15 S2-Chassis with 15 channel width sections
more >>
S2-15 image
S2-20 S2-Chassis with 20 channel width sections
more >>
S2-20 image
S2-25 S2-Chassis with 25 channel width sections
more >>
S2-25 image
S2-30 S2-Chassis with 30 channel width sections
more >>
S2-30 image
Back to S2 Contents >    

S2 Power Supply

S2-PSU S2-Power Supply
more >>
S2-PSU image
S2-PSUS S2-Dual Power Supply Switcher
more >>
S2-PSUS image
       

S2 Script Space

S2-7SS S2-7 Script Space (7 Channels Wide)
more >>
S2-7SS image
S2-10SS S2-10 Script Space (10 Channels Wide)
more >>
S2-10SS image
Back to S2 Contents >    

S2 Cable

S2-BI S2-Bus Interlink Cable
more >>
S2-BI image

S2 Mixer Placement In Furniture - Weights And Boxed Dimensions

Mixer
Type
Width
(cm)
Width (inches) Depth
(cm)
Depth (inches) Height (cm) Height (inches) Gross Weight (kg) Gross Weight (lbs) Nett Weight (kg) Nett Weight (lbs)
S2-30 137cm 53.9” 70cm 27.6” 45cm 17.7” 36kg 79lbs 34kg 75lbs
S2-25 100cm 39.4” 70cm 27.6” 45cm 17.7” 33kg 73lbs 31kg 68lbs
S2-20 100cm 39.4” 70cm 27.6” 45cm 17.7” 30kg 66lbs 28kg 62lbs
S2-15 100cm 39.4” 70cm 27.6” 45cm 17.7” 27kg 59lbs 25.5kg 56lbs
S2-10 60cm 23.6” 70cm 27.6” 45cm 17.7” 24kg 53lbs 22.5kg 50lbs
S2-05 60cm 23.6” 70cm 27.6” 45cm 17.7” 21kg 46lbs 19.5kg 43lbs
Notes: Weights are approximate and based on a mixer chassis loaded with channels.
Back to S2 Contents >
   

Top View - click on image below to see large view.

Side View - click on image below to see large view.

S2 Mixer Profile Top S2 Mixer Side Profile

Back to S2 Contents >


Technical Specification For S2

Input/Output Impedances

Mic Input: > 1k5Ω electronically balanced
Mono Line Input: > 20kΩ electronically balanced
Stereo Line Input: > 20kΩ electronically balanced
PGM & AUD Output: < 75Ω electronically balanced
Mono Output: < 75Ω electronically balanced
Monitor Outputs: < 75Ω unbalanced
AES Input/Output: 110Ω
S/PDIF Input/Output: 75Ω
BNC Wordclock input: 50Ω
   

Input/Output Gain Range

Mic Input: Preset pot +13dB to +66dB ref -50dBu, TRIM pot ±12dB
Mono Line Input: Preset pot -6dB to +10dB ref 0dBu, TRIM pot ±12dB
Stereo Line Input: Preset pot -6dB to +10dB ref 0dBu, TRIM pot ±12dB
Telco Input: Preset pot -6dB to +10dB ref 0dBu, TRIM pot ±12dB
Telco Output: Preset pot -6dB to +4dB ref 0dBu
Mix Minus Input: Preset pot -6dB to +10dB ref 0dBu, TRIM pot ±12dB
Mix Minus Output: Preset pot -3dB to +3dB ref 0dBu
Digital Input: 0dBFS = +12dBu on input; TRIM pot ±12dB allowing 0dBu to +24dBu
Digital Output: 0dBFS = +18dBu
   

Frequency Response

Mic Input: 40Hz to 20kHz, -1dB,+0dB (-3dB at 130Hz with HPF in)
Line Inputs: 20Hz to 20kHz, - 0.5dB,+0dB
RIAA Input: 30Hz to 16kHz ±1.5dB RIAA equalised
   

Noise (20Hz to 20kHz)

Mic Input E.I.N.: -129dB with 150Ω source
Stereo Inputs (fader down, no routing): -89dB ref 0dB
Stereo Inputs (fader down, one channel routed): -89dB
Stereo Inputs (unity gain, no routing): -89dB
Stereo Inputs (unity gain, one channel routed): -86dB
Stereo Inputs (unity gain, two channels routed): -83dB
   
Distortion
Total Harmonic Distortion: 0.015% at 1kHz, 0dB
0.025% at 10kHz, 0dB
   

Crosstalk

Inter-channel: < -90dBu
Stereo: -90dBu at 1kHz
   

Equalisation

LF Shelving at 100Hz: ±7dB
HF Shelving at 6.5kHz: ±7dB
   

Range

Pan Range: off/-3dB centre/off
Balance Range: ±6dB
   

Common Mode Rejection Ratio

Mic Input: > 100dB at 70dB gain
   

Digital I/O

Sync Input Sample Rate: 30kHz - 100kHz
Output Sample Rates (Using Onboard Clock):
32kHz, 44.1kHz, 48kHz, & 96kHz
Output Sample Width: 16, 20, 24 bit (24 bit on V2 ODA/ODP)
   

Output

Headphone Output Load: >45Ω, 400Ω recommended
Maximum Output (Analogue): +26dBu balanced into 2kΩ or greater
   

Power

Power (S2-PSU): Filtered IEC, switchable 115V, 230V, fused, 210W max.
Dimensions (S2-PSU):
(Raw):
48cm (W) x 24.3cm (D) x 8.8cm (H)
19” (W) x 10” (D) x 3.5” (H)
Dimensions (S2-PSU):
(Boxed):
51cm (W) x 41.5cm (D) x 17cm (H)
20” (W) x 16.3” (D) x 6.7” (H)
Weight (S2-PSU): Nett: 6kg       Gross: 7.8kg
Nett: 13.2lbs Gross: 17lbs
Dimensions (S2-PSUS):
(Raw):
48cm (W) x 23cm (D) x 4.4cm (H)
19” (W) x 9” (D) x 1.7” (H)
Dimensions (S2-PSUS):
(Boxed):
55cm (W) x 39.3cm (D) x 8.5cm (H)
21.6” (W) x 15.5” (D) x 3.4” (H)
Weight (S2-PSUS): Nett: 1.58kg Gross: 2kg
Nett: 3.5lbs  Gross: 4.4lbs
Back to S2 Contents >  

 

Wit & Wisdom

"When someone starts a sentence 'I'm not being..', 'they always are' ".

Ian Martin,
quoted in The Guardian

"Memory is a fickle friend, it something something in the end".

Ibid

"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off".

Abe Lemons, College basketball coach,
quoted in the Montreal Gazette

"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it".

Mary Wilson Little,
quoted on Forbes.com

"My job is to be president; your job is to keep me humble. Frankly, I think I'm doing my job better".

Barack Obama,to journalists at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner,
quoted in The Times

"Prejudice is a great time-saver. You can form opinions without having the facts".

E.B. White,
quoted in The Observer

"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person".

Mark Twain,
quoted in The Daily Mail

"A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say".

Michael Winner,
quoted in The Guardian

"I think of the past as a little sister. I love her - but she could benefit from a couple more showers".

Alanis Morissette,
quoted in More

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman: ‘Where's the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose".

Steven Wright,
quoted in The Wall Street Journal

"I don't have a sex ‘drive’. I have a sex ‘just sit in the car and hope someone gets in’".

C.K. Louis, Comedian
quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but many of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done".

Andy Rooney,
quoted in the Flushing Observer (Mich)

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception".

Groucho Marx,
quoted in The Guardian

"They say hard work never killed anybody, but I say, why take the chance".

Ronald Reagan,
quoted in The FT

"It would have been splendid...if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the fish, and the maid as willing as the duchess".

Winston Churchill, when asked about dinner,
quoted in The Observer

"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money".

Abigail Van Buren,
quoted in The Monterey County Herald (California)

"I believe in the discipline of silence and can talk for hours about it".

George Bernard Shaw,
quoted in The West Australian

"The more I practice, the luckier I am".

Ben Hogan, Golfer,
quoted in The Sydney Morning Herald

"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake".

Bob Hope,
quoted in The Buffalo News

"In the art world, 'tasteful' is probably a bigger insult than 'tasteless'".

Grayson Perry,
quoted in The Sunday Telegraph

"My relationship with death remains the same. I am strongly against it".

Woody Allen,
quoted in The Times

"Creativity is intelligence having fun".

Albert Einstein,
quoted in Ad Age

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough".

Mae West,
quoted in the Morton Grove Champion, Illinois

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do".

Isaac Asimou,
quoted in The Sunday Times

"If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel".

Joe Pasquale,
quoted in The Sun

"If you're not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold".

Warning to users of online services,
quoted in The Independent

"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something".

Wilson Mizner,
Playwright,

quoted in the Palm Beach Daily News, Florida

"Never invest in any idea you can't illustrate with a crayon".

Peter Lynch,
Wall Street investor,

quoted in The Australian Financial Review

"Never go into a room unless you know how to get out of it".

Margaret Thatcher,
as recalled by Michael Heseltine in The Times

"I like work: It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours".

Jerome K. Jerome,
quoted in The Wall Street Journal

"If, on Monday morning you wake up dreading going to work - by Friday you should have done something about it".

Timothy Ian Bradbury,
in Talk of the Town, SA

"When desire comes in the door, judgement jumps out the window and cracks its skull on the pavement".

Yiddish saying,
quoted in The New Yorker

"Wherever my dad is now, he's looking down on me...Not because he is dead, but because he is very condescending".

Jack Whitehall,
quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"Price is what you pay. Value is what you get".

Warren Buffett,
quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"It's easy to be miserable. Being happy is tougher and cooler".

Thom Yorke, from the band Radiohead,
quoted in The Sydney Morning Herald

"I've learnt one thing, people who know the least anyways seem to know it the loudest".

Andy Capp, Cartoonist,
quoted in The Buffalo News

"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity".

Simone Weil,
quoted in The New York Times

"Fun is like life insurance: The older you get, the more it costs".

Kin Hubbard, Cartoonist,
quoted on Forbes.com

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is".

Ellen DeGeneres,
quoted in The Observer

"If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered".

Edgar Allan Poe,
quoted on Forbes.com

"It takes only one one drink to get me drunk, Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the 13th or 14th".

George Burns,
quoted on BBC News online

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies".

Groucho Marx,
quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"There is only one thing people like that is good for them: a good night's sleep".

Edgar Watson Howe,
Editor,
quoted on Bookreporter.com

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life".

Rita Rudner,
US Comedian,
quoted in The Observer

"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better. But the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more".

Woody Allen, quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall".

Mitch Hedberg, quoted in the Montreal Gazette

"Be yourself. That's the worst piece of advice you could give an impressionist".

Rory Bremner, quoted in The Times

"When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog, so that someone in the house is happy to see you".

Nora Ephron, quoted in NYTimes,com

"You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase".

Rob Beckett, at the Edinburgh Festival, quoted on BBC News online

"Hard work without talent is a shame, but talent without hard work is a tragedy".

Adage, quoted in the The Times

"Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver. Finishing second in politics gets you oblivion".

Richard Nixon, quoted in the Montreal Gazette

"What is that unforgettable line?".

Samuel Beckett, quoted on BroadwayWorld.com

"People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election".

Otto von Bismarck, quoted in The Montreal Gazette

"It is never too late to be who you might have been".

George Eliot, quoted in The Times

"I have never been guilty of method acting, or even any acting".

Roger Moore, (on his career), quoted in the Daily Mail

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning".

Catherine Aird, quoted in the Savannah Morning

"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness".

Bertrand Russell, quoted in The Courier-Mail

"Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home".

David Frost, quoted in The Washington Post

"Civilisation begins with distillation".

William Faulkner, quoted in the Los Angeles Times

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate".

Charles Dickens, quoted in the Peoria, Ill., Journal

"You're not stuck in traffic. You are traffic".

German transport campaign, quoted in The Guardian

"When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him: Whose?".

Don Marquis, quoted in Forbes

"The value of an industry is inversely proportional to the number of awards it gives itself".

Blogger David Burge, quoted in The Weekly Standard

"Accentuate the positives, medicate the negatives".

Actress Amy Sedaris, quoted in The New York Times

"He that doesn't tooteth his own trumpet, doesn't get his trumpet tooteth".

Old Tennessee adage, quoted on RealClearPolitics.com

"Man Finally Put in Charge of Struggling Feminist Movement".

Headline in satirical magazine, The Onion,quoted in The Independent

"Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than bad memory".

Franklin Pierce Adams, Journalist, quoted on NewYorker.com

"A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car".

Kenneth Tynan, quoted in The Times

"Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realise what's wrong with it".

Rex Harrison, quoted in The Buffalo News

"A journey of self-discovery starts with a single step. But so does falling down a flight of stairs".

Kathy Lette, quoted in The Independent

"Breasts are still our cheapest special effect".

Hollywood saying, quoted in The Guardian

"If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet".

Keith Richards, quoted in The Wall Street Journal

"The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare".

Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, quoted in The Buffalo News

"The only difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets".

Will Rogers, quoted in The Times

"Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing".

William James, quoted in the St Paul Pioneer Press

"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide nothing can be done".

Fred Allen, US Humourist, quoted in the Guardian

"Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman".

Maryon Pearson, quoted in the Chicago Tribune

"There are many things in life that are more important than money. And they all cost money".

Fred Allen, quoted on CNN.com

"The only thing statesmen learn from history's past mistakes is how to make new ones".

A.J.P. Taylor, quoted in The Daily Mail

"Any party that takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought".

Dwight D. Morrow, quoted in The Independent

"All progress is based upon universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income".

Samuel Butler, quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"Education is what's left when what has been learnt has been forgotten".

Psychologist B.F.Skinner, quoted in The Independent

"What is the point in growing old if you can't hound and persecute the young?".

Kenneth Clarke, quoted in The Times

"It just seems to me that the left hand don't know what the extreme left hand is doing".

Gordon Brown, on his left-wing rivals, quoted in The Independent on Sunday

"Learn from others mistakes. We don't have time to make them all ourselves".

Eleanor Roosevelt, quoted in The Huffington Post

"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style".

Quentin Crisp, quoted on CNN.com

"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family: there are no massage parlours with ice cream and free jewellery".

Jerry Seinfeld, quoted in the Denver Post

"Being famous is my job. When I leave the house I'm clocking in".

Noel Gallagher, quoted in The Times

"A radical is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air".

Franklin D. Roosevelt,, quoted in The Independent

"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level".

Quentin Crisp, quoted on CNN

"Chess doesn't drive people mad, it keeps mad people sane".

Bill Hartston,
Former British Chess Champion,
quoted in The Guardian

"Never eat more than you can lift ".

Miss Piggy,
quoted in The Times

"The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry".

John Jensen,
Danish Soccer Star,
quoted in Forbes

"It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return other dog's phone calls".

Woody Allen, on Hollywood,
quoted in The Spectator

"History is just one damn thing after another".

Arnold Toynbee,
quoted in The Guardian

"A newspaper is a device unable to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation".

George Bernard Shaw,
quoted in The Independent

"Youth might be wasted on the young but university is definitely wasted on students".

Ian Hollingshead,
quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"Fame is like watching someone ride past very fast on a horse. It looks exciting and you think: 'I want to do that' but the actual experience can be frightening or a substantial pain in the arse".

Grayson Perry,
quoted in The Observer

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target no one else can see".

Arthur Schopenbauer,
quoted in The Boston Globe

"I support gay marriage because I believe they have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us".

Kinky Friedman,
quoted in The Times

"If I'd asked my customers what they wanted, they would have said a faster horse".

Henry Ford,
quoted in The Guardian

"Stupidity has a knack of getting its way".

Albert Camus,
quoted in the Daily Mail

"Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?".

Tony Hancock,
quoted in The Independent

"Thanks to my devoted wife, without whose unquestioning faith and support this book was nevertheless written".

Rupert Morgan, a dedication in one of his novels,
quoted in The Guardian

"Winston has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches".

F.E. Smith,
quoted in The Times

"If it weren't for the fact that the TV and the fridge are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all".

Joey Adams, Comic,
quoted in the New York Post

"Man's feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell".

Jean Paul Richter, German Writer,
quoted in The Independent

"Politics is an honest effort to misunderstand each other".

Robert Frost,
quoted in the Los Angeles Times

"Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm".

Winston Churchill,
quoted in The Daily Telegraph

"When asked what wine he liked, Diogenes replied:'That which belongs to another' ".

quoted in The Times

"Don't be afraid not to follow the herd - because where the herd's gone, the food is already eaten".

Bob Dylan,
quoted on OpenDemocracy.com

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy you the wag of his tail".

Henry Wheeler Shaw,
quoted in The Times

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity".

The adage know as Hanlon's Razor,
cited in The Daily Telegraph

"What you have to remember is that civil servants use vagueness and ambiguity with razor-sharp precision.".

Senior Civil Servant,
quoted in letter to The Times

"Whenever I date a guy, I think:'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?".

Rita Radner, US Comedian,
quoted in The Times

"If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, "That's because everytime I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit".

Clement Freud,
on combating 'fat-ism' on Radio 4's Just a Minute

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you; it's the things you know that ain't so".

Mark Twain,
quoted in The Wall Street Journal

"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific".

Lilly Tomlin,
quoted in the Calgary Herald

"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness".

Bertrand Russell,
quoted in The Independent

"I always invest in companies an idiot could run, because one day one will".

Warren Buffett,
quoted in The Mail on Sunday

"Men are always asking what women want in bed. The answer is breakfast".

Kathy Lette,
quoted in The Times

"The man who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything".

Theodore Roosevelt,
quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald

"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell you more than he knows".

Dwight Eisenhower,
quoted in the Illawarra Mercury

"I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves".

Nick Helm,
Most popular joke at the Edinburgh Fringe

"If the young are not initiated into the village, they will burn it down just to feel its warmth".

African Proverb,
quoted in The Observer

"The thankless task of drowning other people's kittens".

Cyril Connolly's definition of book reviewing,
quoted in The FT

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's just too much fraternising with the enemy".

Henry Kissinger,
quoted in the Illawarra Mercury

"I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again".

Joan Rivers,
quoted in The Independent

"I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes".

Oprah Winfrey,
quoted in the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel

"Other players are involved in tennis, but I'm committed. It's like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed".

Martina Navratilova ,
quoted in The Times

"The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old".

Writer Jean Kerr ,
quoted on WashingtonPost.com

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."

Elizabeth Taylor, quoted in the Guardian

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time"

W. Somerset Maughan, quoted in the Herald, Monterey County, Calif

"In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant".

Charles de Gaulle, quoted in the Montreal Gazette

"Success is a great deodorant. It takes away all your past smells".

Elizabeth Taylor, quoted in the Guardian

"Economists have predicted nine out of the last five recessions".

Old Joke, quoted in the Times

"The art of diplomacy is letting the other fellow have your own way".

Anonymous Indian
diplomat
, quoted in the Times

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